More contortionism

Through all this medical crap (which is exactly what it is - crap), I have learned new contortionism skills. I am now finely honing them to a new level. You go to the doctor and they say 'cough' or 'deep breath' or 'exhale'. Then then send you for 'tests' and 'procedures' where you get to do things like 'hold still, don't move, here's earplugs, and wait for verbal instructions'. They get very creative. Then physical therapy goes to a new level where you do things like lie down and they press on you and tell you to raise up on your elbows. But they are pushing down. (That's the part that doesn't make sense.) Then we get to the exercises - hold in your stomach (but not your breath) and try this position. Repeat ten times, two sets, twice daily. Move your right arm and left leg, but hold in your stomach and breath normally. I get so confused. Am I supposed to breath in or out? Which arm and which leg? How many sets? Aaarrrggghhh!

Then we added a new wrinkle. Try being coordinated while you sleep. Yes, that's right sleeping coordination. The therapist yesterday suggested I take a pillow and put it between my knees if lying on my side or under my knees if lying on my back while sleeping to see if this prevents any of the pain at night. Well that's easy, lie down put a pillow between your knees and go to sleep. And then you want to roll over and have to move the pillow around and in the rearranging your strain your back and the pain which you had been carefully avoiding starts. I am not a coordinated sleeper. The solution for me is: fall asleep in one position, wake up, rearrange pillows, lie there until I fall asleep again in position two. Repeat as needed all night long. But this means I don't get a whole entire night's sleep. The whole point of this is to go to bed and wake up 7 or 8 hours later feeling refreshed. Not happening. Grrr, grrr, grrr. Triple, triple grrr.

So yesterday I had a discussion with the therapist. We decided that it is time for one more session and then off to the people with big needles department. She told me a standard course of treatment is sets of three shots, every six months. I don't do needles. I don't faint or anything, but I can't look at them or see them at all. (Not a very convenient trait for medical procedures.) And now I might get three every six months??? EEEKKK!!!! I am a weinie about this and see no reason I should change this trait of mine. Possibly I associate them with pain or something. Anyway, I have found if I tell them I don't like needles, they give them other names and hide them from me. I think they are just tired of scraping patients up off the floor.

In addition to that today, I need to call the vet with the latest kitty update. He now looks like he has a blood clot floating around his eye. But is otherwise acting normal. Or as normal as he can be. Begging for food, walking on us, drinking water out of my water glass, supervising the bird feeders, shedding, being a food snob, etc. (In the middle of this state of 'I must eat everything all the time' he still is capable of being a food snob and turning his little nose up at some of the kitty treats which apparently are sub-par.)

Otherwise today I am meeting a friend for coffee, doing a little gardening, paying bills, calling the doctor, meeting a friend for a walk, getting my nails done and a few other things i will attempt to remember but did write down so they might actually take place. Chemo brain means my life is covered in post it notes so I can remember what to do.