Being an elephant....

Or more on perceptions vs. reality. I talk about losing weight and my deflabbification project but it never seems to work. I have decided my job is very fattening. I sit next to the kitchen and then people bring in nasty things like donuts and cookies... or even make special trips to the bakery next door to get more when the homemade stuff is run out or they just want a sweet thing. And of course they get enough to share. Then there is the snack rack where for 90 paltry pennies you can get a bag of premade, chemical and fat filled, empty calories of your choice. All within 8' of my desk and in my sightlines. As well as the parade of coworkers going by for their share. So I decided I look and feel like this:

Or this:

Last week at the reunion, I was talking to a social worker friend about this (who is less than 5' tall and weighs less than 90 lbs) about how I feel fat and I hate the way I look in pictures. Her calm reply was that we all feel that way. It did help but I still feel fat. I know my downfalls - emotional eating, late night snacking after dinner, on the job snacking and I have promised myself I need to do something about this before I have to buy larger clothes yet again. But I do feel very sorry for this elephant that is on a strict diet to lose 500 lbs during pregnancy no less.