Last winter and spring I was busy getting settled into our new house - and painting about half the rooms in the house. Then I was busy gardening and being outside. Then it was craft show season. Now not so much. I'm not going to finish painting the house until after the holidays but that only takes up so much of my time.
Our neighborhood is full of people who work. The woman on one side is home with two small children to keep her busy. The woman on the other side is retired and never seems to be home. I have taken time to get to know her but I don't think we have that much in common.
Most of my friends work full time or nearly full time so they aren't available during the week, or they are not very local and a good drive away.
My Christmas presents are all purchased. I have to put a few more in tissue in gift bags. I am waiting for a couple last things. I have one idea of one thing to make and that's it.
I love my husband but he isn't here all day long. He works full time and then comes home and does his own thing. This is important because he needs time to relax. When he's not here, he's busy, even if I am not. So I can't expect him to focus on me the second he walks in the door until we go to bed at night. I can't count on him to fill my time when he is home. But the real problem is when he is at work anyway.
Yesterday I was at the gym and then came home and was then home for the day. The cats are not much for conversation. So its just me and and bad TV all day long.
That is not a good combination. I need more to fill my time and interact with other people - other than the gym and doctor appointments. Basically I need a life. A new life.
So that is my focus. My first experience with this kind of isolation was during breast cancer treatment. I was home and I bored. My husband was at work and it went on for months. I was lonely and isolated. Any other time I was home for extended periods of time I was healing from something and got better. Now its just me.
I have options I can turn into Suzy Homemaker but that's really not me. I hate housecleaning. I have been cooking more (but that's not good for my waistline). I could get healthy - but we know that's not going to happen.
My health is the huge limitation in my life. Physically I can't do much more than I do now. That is my problem.
The problem is I know what my problem is but haven't quite figured out how to fix it. This week my calendar is pretty empty except medical appointments and the gym. Next week we will have house guests for several days. The week after - I need a plan. I need friends to get together with. I need projects to do. I need to figure out how to get out of the house and do things (within my limitations).