I have been pondering this one for a long time, years. I used to blog about my breast cancer crap (and if it's cancer, it is crap) all the time. I mean, ALL the time. Because breast cancer was the center of my life. I was going through treatment and coping with diagnosis and all the fun stuff going along with it.
So since I got through treatment and moved on to other ailments, I have not blogged about breast cancer as much. I have thought a lot about this. I have even considered renaming my blog.
After a lot of thought, I have decided the reason I don't blog about breast cancer is that I am trying to bury all thoughts of breast cancer and not think about it. Yes, that's it. I am being a wimp. But its called me coping with breast cancer.
There are five degrees of grief, of us learning to cope with our own mortality - whether it is death of a loved one or our own mortality when faced with life threatening illness. They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. So my way of coping and acceptance are burying my breast (and thyroid) cancer diagnosis and pretending they aren't there.
This way I allow myself not to think about my cancer diagnoses is by ignoring them. Any potential symptom will be uncovered by my doctors at upcoming visits. Why do I do this? Am I supposed to be hyper-vigilant about any potential cancer symptom for the rest of my life? How could I live that way? I couldn't.
So being a human being, I do what I can to cope. I spend my time pretending I don't have them and assuming that my doctors will discover anything that could be wrong with me. I will fill them in on any aches, pains, and other symptoms that I have but I will not stress myself about it and will pretend they aren't there until I see a doctor.
This is why I don't blog about breast cancer anymore.