Friday, June 12, 2015

Staring out the window, procrastinating

As I sit here looking out the front window with a cat next to me and another two lurking around, I am gathering my thoughts about today. I have to go to the gym. I mean I really have to. I only went once this week so far and am traveling again next week and will miss another couple of days. I took my time getting up this morning because I really needed some sleep so I feel a bit better.

I am procrastinating on my day. I have things I want to do - the gym. I have things I need to do - my medical school (which is fascinating so far) and some volunteer work. I have things I must do - two doctor appointments. These are the cause of my procrastination. I have been in avoidance mode for them. Well actually for one of them because it is a test and if I don't have the test, I don't have to deal with the results which will probably be okay. But because there is that 'what if' thing going on in my brain I have stress.

That is the life in the medical ailment world, mostly the cancer world but with most big ailments. You see a doctor and they send you for a test. They don't like the results of the test so they refer you to another doctor who wants more tests 'to be sure'. Healthy people who haven't had many medical maladies don't usually get this far. They get a 'see you in a year for a follow up'. But because of my ailment history, I never get that I always get the test 'to be sure' and sometimes they are not so good.

So I am procrastinating. But because I am hungry and need to get going to the gym, I will start moving. The question will be if procrastination returns or I allow stress to rule the rest of my day.


SWL said...

Have just come across your it, your insightful comments and realistic outlook. As a person who recently had cancer and having a mom and two sisters who are survivors, I wanted to pass on something that may give you and others some comfort. Without sounding like a used car salesperson...full disclosure... this is a product I developed. Did you know that it is okay to bring your own gown to doctor's appointments, treatments, mammograms and MRI's? ​ I just wanted to share.
Be well.Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Good article in June 8 th New York Times :
When Pain Persists After Breast Cancer Surgery
Worth reading.

I Started a New Blog

I started this blog when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007. Blogging really helped me cope with my cancer and its treatment. Howe...