A retrospective into the last ten days or why I feel like Chicken Little

Well, maybe it was a little longer than the last ten days. Anyhow, this latest trip around the roller coaster started a few weeks back when I thought I found a lump. This causes my stress level to inch increasingly upwards. Then I had the bad mammogram which turns into more stress. Followed by each day to wait for each test and their results, my stress keeps going up and up. It was slightly relieved by the discussion with the doctor before the biopsy that perhaps we didn't need to do it. However it didn't end until I got the second phone call on Friday giving me the results. This week I feel mostly back to normal but still am finishing out the roller coaster. But I do feel like Chicken Little. My increased stress caused undue stress and concern by others. But now we know it was all unfounded. While I do appreciate the concern, I just wish it didn't happen - that I didn't have the little adventure in the first place.

Every doctor visit now turns into a stress inducer - what if they find something else? For example, I had that stupid rash which basically went away. But the last patch on my leg ended up with a big dry patch of skin around it. Then I got a rash on my arm last week which I thought was poison ivy or a bug bite. I covered it with a bandaid with cortisone and some tape to hold the bandaid on so I wouldn't scratch it while sleeping and voila - I have a big red irritated rectangle on my arm where the tape was. I also have another area of irritated skin. I was going to cancel my follow up dermatologist appointment today but now that I have new things appearing, I will go and see whats going on. In the meantime,I keep my stress level down and pretend they aren't going to find anything new. But the last time I was there she was muttering things about eczema or psoriasis. Grr... Not that they are terminal but they would be annoying.

Then I have another trip back to the surgeon later this week for a follow up on the biopsy. Which even though we know it was benign, it must have been a something... So is there any more follow up? I don't know? I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want a clean bill of health from a doctor. I haven't had one of those in a long time.

So you see, this little roller coaster I am on intensifies with each doctor visit. In the last ten days or so my stress level on a scale of 1-10, probably reached an 11 (just think about the amps on Spinal Tap). My goal is get two doctors this week to tell me that I am okay for now so I can go on vacation and relax until my next doctor appointment in three weeks.

In the meantime, today's stress inducer is where is the cat. We can't find him this morning. He didn't sleep with us last night. He usually demands breakfast and attention in the morning and is no where to be found.