How (Not) To Have A Good Night's Sleep

1. Carry giant kitty out to car, with wrestling match to get into carrier, and take to vet.
2. Go to meeting and sit in big comfy chair for 2.75 hours
3. Walk on beach at low tide in loose sand so back hurts
4. Go to other job for 6 hours
5. Pick up prescription for new anti depressant
6. Eat dinner
7. Read warnings list for new drug
8. Take back pain med and attempt to go to bed.

I did not sleep well. I dreamt I was having the side effects listed for the new med, even though I didn't take it yet, and was arguing with people and being evil. Its a very (un) reassuring list:

Diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, increased sweating, lightheadedness when you stand or sit up, loss of appetite (that one might not be so bad), nausea, stuffy nose, or tiredness. (I am not sure where stuffy nose fits into the mix and frankly I have had enough nausea in my life at this point not to want any more.)

But wait there's more. Call your doctor immediately if you experience: bizarre behavior (my husband is ready to call now before I take it), chest pain, confusion (will anyone be able to tell?), decreased concentration, decreased coordination, fainting, fast or irregular heartbeat, hallucinations, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well being, restlessness, or inability to sit still, red, swollen, blistered or peeling skin, seizures, severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping, severe or persistent headache, stomach pain, suicidal thoughts or attempts, tremor, unusual bruising or bleeding, unusual weakness, unusual or severe mental or mood changes, vision changes, or worsening of depression.

First of all, isn't an anti-depressant there to help relieve lots of these symptoms so clearly that would be that its not working. Anyway, I had all sorts of weird dreams, did not sleep well, and have a very long day - from a 730 am PT appt to tickets in Boston to a comedy show tonight. I am sure my inner evil bitch will appear at some point.

But here's yet another article on the effects of depression on cancer people which is simply further proof that it is not all in my head.

My day yesterday started with back stress. In order to take the cat to the vet, we need to operate in stealth mode and put the carrier out in the car the night before. He saw me put it out there yesterday morning so when I picked him up, he was having none of that. A battle ensued. I won but my back hurt. When he is determined, he is determined. Now he is much better according to the vet, and 3 months behind in his shots, but still on insulin. He got behind on his shots because 3 months ago, when they were due, he was so sick, we weren't sure he was going to be around long enough to need them. But now he is late. Next visit, lots of needles for him.

But now I am late for PT. I will bravely take 1/2 an antidepressant and see what kicks in as I run out the door. Bye.