Rocket scientist vs. darwinist

Yesterday afternoon I drove by two teenagers in my neighborhood who were either rocket scientists or darwinists. One was walking his bike up a steep hill on the wrong side of the road, while talking on his cell phone and smoking a cigarette (Actually I found his multitasking abilities amusing as he had his phone held to his ear with his shoulder so he could smoke and push his bike at the same time). The other was walking in the middle of the road (which was a quiet little road), while listening to his iPod. Which has the longer life expectancy? The answer is C: they are teenagers so they are immortal.

Back when we were all young (well we were all young once but that may be many, many years ago), we were immortal. Cancer and all sorts of medical adventures were for old people. Those were the people who were really old - I mean at least 50 or something. Then as we age, we start getting ailments... But still, those nasty things were for the old people, at least 70 or something. Then when you get diagnosed with bad things, you decided we are all too young for this crap and if you are going to get bad things, you should at least be 90. Instead of being in your forties and feeling like you have the medical chart of a centenarian. (That's a big word for so early in the day - sometimes I even impress myself.) The answer to the question of when do you cease to be too old to lose the crap shoot of the medical diagnoses is approximately twice your current age or a minimum of 20 years older than your current age.

All of us lucky people with numerous ailments ask ourselves, what did I do to deserve this crappy roll of the dice of life? Why me? Did I play in toxic waste as a child? Not that I remember. Did I eat too much processed food? I think I ate less than the average American as my mother was always making us eat weird natural stuff. (I hate groats.) There are all sorts of theories on how to reduce your risk of bad things and increase your life expectancy. Eat your veggies, cut down or skip meat, drink no alcohol, well maybe a little, no tobacco use (especially while riding your bike), and don't walk down the street listening to your iPod. We all do what we can.