Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Living with Pain

I am sure I am only one of millions of people who live with pain. I mean everyone has basic pains in life - when was the last time you stubbed your toe, pinched your finger, had a headache? But those go away. The people who live with pain basically don't have pain free times. Right now for example, my back is aching all up through the upper half... I just got up so my ankle is doing okay but I am sure it will kick in later (like when I start my balancing exercises as I cook breakfast). Other people I am sure are in much worse shape than I. I just get to whine about it here (and to my husband and anyone else near by).

This article from the New York Times puts another perspective on the issue of pain. We want to just survive it...And I think it puts other things a little more in perspective. How bad is a stubbed toe compared to something that doesn't go away? Suck it up and deal with it. That's all I have to say at this point. So your knee aches from too much running? Too bad, it will get better. I am running out of sympathy for the little stuff.

Here's the deal with my back. It hurts almost all the time. Every so often there is a nano-second of pain free and I enjoy it but then it quickly goes away. There is no surgery to cure what is going on with my back. It is not an option. I have lower back problems which cause hip and sacroliac joint pain. I also have pain that radiates through my upper back and into my neck (and is kind of a mystery - lower back pain goes down, not up). Sometimes its a dull ache and sometimes its an ice pick sticking into me and sometimes its in between. I am stuck in limbo.

I go back to the doctor in mid-November for a few more discussions and questions about what to do next, are these stupid drugs that I have been on for months helping, and where do we go from here but there is no secret answer. I have had basically all the back pain options there are other than more cortisone injections and they only help specific areas - like a single joint. So I don't know. I hate pain.

On my sympathy and cheerfulness levels, they are way down these days. Be forewarned, I maybe crabby for no reason. Otherwise, life goes on. I take my pills and go off on my next adventure.

Now I reread this post and boy am I negative this morning. perhaps I need coffee. Perhaps I need a vacation (but wait I just got back from one). But I am going to my many-year (too many to say) college reunion tomorrow where I will pretend I am still in my relatively healthy 22 year old body wearing a size 8...

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