Since my second cancer diagnosis, my benchmark for my stress levels is my reaction to bad news and how I handled my diagnosis news. Yesterday I almost hit that level again. We were just notified at 5 pm on New Year's Eve that our carefully choreographed house move next week, may be delayed, because of a problem on our buyer's end. The real problem is that due to the holiday weekend, we are stuck in a stress filled limbo through the long weekend.
When I read the news by email from our attorney, instantly the stress level hit me and I felt nauseous and overwhelmed. That is similar to how I felt at diagnosis.
Stress can have a huge impact on my body. I used to be able to measure my stress level by eating - I'm a stress eater. Somethings required a candy bar and others required ice cream every day for a bit - neither of which were good for my body. Sometimes long term stress made me go for a long walk daily. This is a more beneficial way of coping.
After cancer two, stress would lead to stress eating but as stress levels increased through surgeries and treatment, when faced with potentially very difficult issues I would get to the point, where food wouldn't interest me at all. Last night I felt gut punched and had to calm down a little to relax to eat dinner. By that measure my stress level was nearing my cancer 2 diagnosis stress level
I am still feeling the stress. I did not sleep well last night - gee I wonder why? Today, the most important thing I need to do is get more packing done. I am not motivated at all. The real problem is that I do not see an end to this stress.
We will probably not have answers until Monday, 3 days from now, and will probably face delays in moving. So all our plans will be messed up and we will have to scramble to reschedule everything - the movers and the POD delivery to start. And find a new cat sitter. And extend our cable service at our current home. And change the schedule for new cable and gas/electric service. And make new hotel reservations for our transition days.
Stress sucks. Maybe I'll just quit eating.
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