They're mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!!!

My two year old side is apparently reappearing. Also, as man as a species is a creature of habit, I am being possessive. (Now you are wondering, what the heck is she talking about?) When I go to radiation, there is a little changing area with dressing rooms. I like dressing room 4 and locker 7. Room 4 is around the corner from the first part where people can see your feet as you change. It is much more private (I was going to write privater and realized that was not a real word - perhaps I need more coffee this morning) and in the middle. The one on the left is behind the soiled linens basket and the one on the right is next to the men's room door. (Yes, a co-ed dressing area - kind of weird but okay because there so seldom is anyone else there and there are separate dressing rooms.) I like dressing room number 4. I use it every day. (It is mine!) Right across from it is locker number 7. I like using the locker that is across from the dressing room - sometimes I take two trips to hang up my clothes. (Mine, mine, mine!) However the big concern is what if I get there some day and THEY ARE TAKEN BY SOMEONE ELSE??? Will this ruin my day? Do I wait for the dressing room to be free or do I use one of the other less desirable ones - visible feet, next to the men's room, or behind the linen basket? What a dilemma! I think I shall have to cross that bridge when I come to it and hope it have too great a negative effect.

So yesterday I struggled through the snow (neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail... - no wait that's the post office's motto but I might borrow it for the duration of radiation) and got to Lahey. It was very empty. I was told most patients canceled due to our little itty, bitty, vastly overinflated by the media snow storm. (We got about 6" and it stopped by noon. The media said up to 18" and continue through evening. They were wrong.) I was glad to see that for once the sweets table was empty. Every time I go there are donuts or cake or cookies or something sitting on the table that I politely ignore. There is however a coffee maker that usually has coffee in it. That does have some appeal.

After treatment I also met with the nurse. Every Monday I will meet with a nurse. I think everyone I meet with gives me another version of what to do and what is going to happen. First the techs said 'no you won't have fatigue'. Then the nurse said 'keep your skin hydrated', 'don't take vitamins, they might interfere with the radiation', and 'your skin should be fine if you use this special (and really expensive) cream'. Then the techs said 'get some aloe and vitamin E oil for your skin'. Then a different nurse said 'yes you will have skin issues at some point - probably about 2 weeks', 'don't bother with the aloe (after I already bought aloe and vitamin E oil), get some vitamin E capsules and poke a hole in them and use them on your incision only', and 'yes you can take vitamins but not large doses of antioxidants (C and E)'. I think today I meet with the doctor. I will see what she says. I originally thought I would meet with the doctor on Wednesdays but apparently it is possible I will meet with her on Tuesdays. I guess I will find out. More patient confusion.

I did beat the parking lot yesterday!!! I get the gold star for the day! I mentioned it to the nurse. She said if you are having problems with your ticket being read by the machine in the lot, try it in the pay machine first before you go out and it should say $0 due and spit the ticket back out. I tried that. It worked. Then I tried it at the lot exit and it worked. That will be my back up plan from now on. I also tried keeping it in my pocket instead of my purse yesterday. I think we are up to 2-Caroline, 1-parking lot. Only 3 treatments down. This is going to ddddrrraaaggg aaa lllooonnnggg tttiiimmmeee.

Today, I am going to the gym, to work, to radiation, to support group, and then home. I also have to do more volunteer work. Just a few things. Yesterday I did get off my lazy butt and go to the gym as well. I am trying to recover from eating continuously for a month over the holidays. Ice cream and bacon consumption didn't really help either. A positive side effect of Tamoxifen - yes there are positive side effects - is it seems to have completely killed my appetite. The scale once again is slowly going in the right direction. One tiny little bright light in my otherwise boring life.