Testing my limits

How often do I look at my box of pills and think 'what if I just threw them all away'? The answer is 'too often these days'.

Okay, I am human and even though I fill my pill box ever week, I am not perfect. Sometimes I forget to take some of my pills. I have to take pills twice in the morning and sometimes I miss the second set of morning pills. Those pills are ones which I take twice a day so if I miss half a day's dose every couple of weeks I figure I am okay.

But what if I skipped the ones I take once a day? I really make an effort not to. I have been known to wake up in the middle of the night (say hello to insomnia!) and check to make sure I have taken them all. I figure once, I could survive. But what if I just stopped them all?

The one pill I know I really need to take every day is my levothyroxine - which is my substitute thyroid gland. I know what happens if I forget that one. One day is fine, two or more days starts to cause problems. I once went on vacation and left my thyroid pills in my hotel in NY before flying to the Bahamas. I started to blow up like a balloon. These are important enough that I know if I ever forget them for some reason, most pharmacists will 'advance' you a few pills, especially if they are part of the same chain where you get your prescription.

I am tempted sometimes to stop taking one or two of them to see how much of an effect they really have on me. I have a weekly pain patch that has shifted from Thursdays to Monday nights after I have gone without it for a bit. Sunday night I was sick of the itching it was causing me so I yanked it off in the middle of the night and didn't put another one on until yesterday afternoon.

For some reason, I have felt like pushing my limits recently. Maybe its a phase. Maybe in some ways I am feeling better? I don't know. I just know I hate being dependent on a bunch of pills to survive.