Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I didn't dress appropriately!

First I must confess. I ate a donut. I went to crisping after my CT scan and they had donuts. I have never eaten any food at crisping but yesterday I succumbed and had a donut (and a small cup of the ever so important caffeine.) Before leaving Lahey all together I then stopped and purchased a large coffee so I could actually drive and begin functioning as a human being. Because I was uncaffeinated upon arrival I drove like an OMWAH and hit a curb in the parking garage - but I did not get a flat.

Anyway, I did not dress appropriately for my CT scan. First they asked me if I had elastic waist pants on. If I did, I would not have had to put on their lovely pajamas! Silly me! I guess my ESP should have been turned on so I would know this. (Did I look like the type of person that wears elastic waist pants? That is a different question.) Also, I wore my regular little black boots because it was about 15 degrees out when I left. There was a woman there wearing school bus yellow, patent leather, ballerina flats (with the little bow) for her treatment. They were quite the fashion statement. Mental note to self, always wear cool shoes when going for treatments.

Getting back to my story, I arrived on time - at approximately 6:58am as requested. I had to fill out a very complicated form and then have a seat in the secret little waiting room. (Why is it a secret waiting room? Well, I think it is the hiding place of OMWAHs. The people there were sharing their stories of painful medical histories and previous hospitalizations. They were also wearing hats. In most waiting rooms, people don't share their medical histories in public.) Then I had to get into a lovely set of pjs and robe (with my boots) and drink not one but two looks-like-milk-tastes-like-crap (with a slight berry flavor) barium beverages. A nice man came along and put in a very painful IV to ensure the day was complete. (No they couldn't use my port either. Its a good reason it is coming out.) Then the scan itself took approximately 10 minutes. An hour of waiting around for 10 minutes of viewing.

I got to lie on a table with the big donut CT machine. It has a little red light and as you slide back and forth you realize its not a red light but a laser. It also has a little sign that says 'Do not look directly at laser beam'. Possibly they shouldn't put it right in front of your face if you aren't supposed to look at it. I just lay still and every so often they slid me back and forth and asked me to hold my breath. Also, right in front of my face is a little panel that shows when you can breath and when you cant - completely with little faces - green for breathing and yellow for holding your breath. But as they slide you back and forth, you can't seen the little faces until you are back out. Perhaps these should be relocated so they are visible when you are supposed to be paying attention to them. Then I got to wait around again to make sure everything was in focus (or as they put it - to make sure I was smiling in the pictures). I was done by 830 which was much earlier than expected. Then I went to work until 515pm. This is the longest I have worked in months and it was a busy day. By the time I got home, I was so exhausted, I was in bed at 8pm. I didn't even get to go for a walk yesterday! There is a rumor that I overdid it yesterday but perhaps I will disregard that.

Today is the last crisping. This means I am 97.0588235% (note the improved skills with a calculator) done with crispings. However no big celebrating until I get through Wednesday and Thursday as well. Once they 'dig out' my port, I will be much more inclined to celebrate.

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