Saturday

Its Saturday. I am up way too early. My husband is going into work today so he (we) got up early. I can't go back to sleep so I can waste time on the internet instead. I mean I could go and be productive and go for a walk, which I might do in a few minutes, but for now I am happy with my laptop, watching the news...

I feel like I don't write much about cancer any more. Maybe its because I don't have any current cancer issues. But its always lurking. Once you have a cancer diagnosis, you are at greater risk for getting another cancer. And always hoping you don't have a recurrence. Getting your life back is learning not to over react at every pain. An example is when my back pain first started the big concern was that a common spread of breast cancer is to the bones and spine. But an MRI didn't find anything. Or my stupid rash. There is a rare form of breast cancer that shows up at as a rash. So everything gets double and triple checked. And monitored. You had cancer? Oh, we need to check to make sure your headache isn't a brain tumor. Instead of take tylenol and go home... Its a new balancing act in life.

I did start my new job three weeks ago. Those co-workers know that I have back problems and got cortisone shots (and that the cat has diabetes). They don't know anything else about my medical life and there is no reason they are going to. I actually find it to be a relief that my medical crap doesn't dominate my work life any more. I go to work, I work, I talk about work stuff, and then I go home. Its a nice change. Life without cancer - at least on one level.

We also have continued improvement on the cat front (perhaps this should be renamed Caroline's cat's blog). Last night I woke up in the middle of the night (because my back hurt) and went to check on the cat (because he has been a bit too lethargic and if I get up and walk around for a minute sometimes my back does feel better). He was sitting in the front window in the living room, staring out the window at the furry woodland creatures (who were eating my plants) out in the front yard. He did not want anything to do with me and gave me an annoyed look. I found that very reassuring that he was focused enough on something instead of sitting around passively.

Today I am going to get a hair cut. Hair cuts still are important, more important than they ever used to be. I am not sure they will ever lose their importance.