Monday, March 30, 2009

The frustration is building

I am getting very frustrated these days (and sometimes crabby as a result). The list of things I can't do is ever increasing. And these are some of the little things - bringing anything up from or even down to the basement, or grocery shopping for heavy things like soda water and big bags of cat food, or laundry where I have to be careful even sorting and putting stuff in the washer and dryer, or gardening where I can't really carry stuff or move things around or dig or rake, or the list goes on and on. If I do these things it makes my back hurt. I am at the point where I do things anyway because I am not having any fun. And I can't do the little things. Like sit here in my computer chair (which is a good supportive chair correctly positioned for me) with out my back hurting.

My choices are: do the things I enjoy or want to get done so I am doing the basics in life and then my back will hurt. Or do none of the things I enjoy and my back still hurts. My frustration is at the level where I am doing the things I want but then my back hurts. Which means I get crabby, don't get enough sleep, which leads to more crabbiness. I think I am just sick of my body dictating what I am capable of these days. I want to plan a hike with friends. But I won't be able to carry much of a pack. I want to plan a day of bike riding but my back will probably hurt. Grr, triple grr, triple, triple grr.

Actually there are two kinds of back pain. The pain when you pick up something or bend wrong or twist and your back says 'don't do that' and gives a sharp pain. Or the other pains that are just chronic that continually providing aching and soreness regardless of what you do. I am avoiding the first kind of pain in general. I don't pick up things, try not to bend or twist. Its the other pain that I am dealing with.

Anyway, today I am going to the gym this morning and then a little work from home and off to work (back pain and all).

1 comment:

Debby said...

I'm trying to think of something to cheer you up, and I cannot. Chronic unrelenting pain will frustrate the best of us.