Thursday, July 23, 2009

What am I doing?

Sometimes one needs to stop and ask the question 'what am I doing?' Today I need to do this. Its 715 am and I have already worked for 1.75 hours.... What am I doing? I woke up early so I got some work done. It will make the rest of my day easier. But what am I crazy for working at 530? The cat didn't mind - because he got breakfast early. My husband just thinks I am nuts.

Yesterday I went to see my therapist. She had canceled and appointment a few weeks ago and I was going to skip a month but then decided I am a tiny bit stressed and should see her. I find it interesting to see if I can figure out how she thinks I am doing by what she says and does. For a while she mentioned a couple of times that perhaps I was ready to stop seeing her all together. But now she is very firm in signing me up for subsequent appointments. This time I got the addition 'that if I need to see her sooner to call as she gets lots of cancellations.' Hmmm... Evidently she thinks I am stressed too. Perhaps because I have nearly constant back pain, friends are dead, I am really, really busy with work, and there are always those evil little cancer thoughts lurking in the background.

Yesterday I also had the ultimate spaceshot moment. I got to work and there was a voice mail message on my machine. I never get messages. When i first started I reset my voice mail password and have gotten one message since. So I had to go in and reset my password again... And it was a hang up call.

Today will be a better day. Since I've done my work I can go for my morning walk before going to work. That always puts me in a better mood.

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